Language – Frantic Shanti

Coming to My Senses: A Whiff of “Fragrantica”

(Title image: Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash)

This is one of those “just because” posts…

One of my favorite meditations is sinking into the sensations around me, whether it’s a body scan, opening up to the sounds around me or getting lost in a beautiful scene.

But I am particularly intrigued by scents. Much like fine wine or dark chocolate, fragrances can be very complex and multi-layered, evoking a range of emotions. While my meditations generally don’t allow for experiencing many scents (unless I’m specifically in an environment conducive to it), I find that I’ve very affected by the ones that I encounter during my day, particularly when they strike a chord with me.

I know what I like when I smell it…but I’m not great at being able to pick apart exactly what it is that I’m enjoying so much and naming it. So I’m delving into this more deeply and paying closer attention.

I got a tip from a fragrance counter attendant to visit a website called Fragrantica to search for notes that I enjoy in the hopes of finding perfumes that speak to my senses.

I love this website! It has a free, massive library of fragrances and fragrance elements. Searching for a note (a single, individual smell)—using the citrus fruit bergamot as an example (see images below)—brings to you a page with a listing of known perfumes that contain it. When you select a perfume, you get a listing of the different accords (blends of different fragrance notes) of which it is comprised and can search for suggestions for other fragrances that contain similar scents, in addition to user reviews.

I have also been captivated by the vocabulary of perfumery. Words like sillage, drydown and heart notes to describe elements of a perfume, and unusual notes like petrichor (the aroma of the earth when it rains) and dew drop (which I imagine smelling like an early morning garden) and black diamond (maybe “minerally”? Your guess is as good as mine). These terms describe unique qualities and raw materials, and I love that there’s a language for it.

Some fragrances connect me with emotional states. There’s nothing like getting hit with a scent from the past and being transported back to a different time.

Additionally, some perfume bottles are works of art on their own, intricate and beautiful…and, yes, perhaps exorbitantly priced. Arguably, a museum-worthy piece if not out of reach for most of us.

An example of an exclusive perfume in an ultra-luxurious bottle, Arcanum by AMAFFI, $5,500.
(https://amaffi.com/us/products/arcanum-for-women)

Fragrantica is such a unique website. If you enjoy scents, take a look at it. It has already set me on a scent-discovery journey, it might do the same for you.

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As a reminder, these are simply things that I enjoy. No affiliate links or paid advertisements. After swearing off jumping into another stressful certification this year, I’m taking time to explore the pleasures in my life.

“Them’s Fightin’ Words!”: Discussing Cancer Language

^{(Photo by Thao LEE on Unsplash)}

Here’s something that I want to share from my Yoga4Cancer teacher training class. It’s an episode from a BBC podcast on the language that we use to talk about cancer, and it is excellent.

The podcast features a group of people touched by cancer: survivors who have finished their treatment and those who are still undergoing it. In one case, there is a woman who will never finish treatment because she needs to stay on it for the rest of her life.

Their topic of conversation circles around how they describe their situations and how they feel about the words that others use. I don’t want to give too much away because the discussion is engaging and even humorous, so I do encourage you to listen for yourselves.

BBC Radio 4 “Fighting Talk: How Language Can Make Us Better” (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0001g8w).

I’d be really interested in knowing what your opinion on this is. Many of us might start with more aggressive talk concerning our cancer diagnoses: fight, beat, battle, etc. And yet as you’ll see, those terms can become problematic. We may get worn down by them as the treatment progresses.

How about “toxic positivity” from others? This is the tendency to push a narrative of upbeat positivity no matter what, even when it’s not appropriate to the situation. Such encouragement often ignores the tumultuous inner state of the cancer patient and can lead to a feeling of isolation

Open discussions about cancer help maintain an active support network for the diagnosed individual.
(Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash)

Everyone is different and as cancer survivors, we don’t expect well-meaning friends and family to know what personally irks us: for instance, there are differences between men and women in how they react to “fighting” metaphors. But it’s useful to bring a conversation like this into the open because cancer is one of those diseases that may make people around us feel uncomfortable.

A lot of people may not know what to say in response to your diagnosis, so they’ll say something vague and positive, or even nothing at all…and some may avoid you altogether. That can be unfortunate at a time where community support is especially important.

If you are currently undergoing treatment, understand that many around you might not have the vocabulary for talking about cancer in a way that resonates with you.

And if you are one of those friends who doesn’t know what to say, it can be best to admit that. Trying, “I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to say anything wrong,” can be more heartfelt and helpful than an awkwardly-cheery, “You got this!” or “Don’t give up the fight!”

I hope you enjoy the podcast episode!

Patient vs. Survivor: The Impact of a Label

^{(Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash)}

The first devastating realization I had following my breast cancer diagnosis was that I was now a cancer patient. In my mind I immediately went from “happy-go-lucky, fitter-than-average” to “sick beyond belief”.

Except that nothing physical had changed. But my mindset had. And when I found out that my triple-positive tumor was going to require chemo, I knew that everyone else was going to be aware of my hairless, frail status.

Cancer. Patient. I imagined myself pathetic and scrawny, walking around hunched over in a hospital gown with light shining off my bald scalp. Sounds dramatic, huh?

How do your labels affect you?
(Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash)

Recently, however, I learned that there’s been a change in the language surrounding those individuals who have been diagnosed, are undergoing treatment for or have finished cancer treatment. The word “patient” as it relates to someone’s status has been supplanted by “survivor” much earlier in their cancer experience.

This is curious to me because I went through a mini identity crisis after I was done with chemo and radiation–I thought that only then could I start calling myself a (hopeful) cancer survivor. But I was a bit anxious about doing so, because I didn’t know whether I truly deserved that title. I thought that I needed to have some special designation before I qualified as a survivor.

These days, the survivor label is given when you receive a diagnosis. The idea is that while initially we didn’t know your status, now that we’ve confirmed your tumor, you are going through the experience of surviving the disease. As stated on the Cancer.net site, “When people talk about ‘survivorship,’ they are usually referring to navigating their life experiences and challenges resulting from their cancer diagnosis.” Read more about how ‘survivor’ is used here.

This sounds a lot better to me than using the term “patient”. By referring to myself as a patient when I didn’t have any reason to–meaning no physical symptoms–I was imagining myself sicker than I really was, which increased my anxiety levels. That made my entire experience worse and it didn’t have to. I did that to myself (‘cept that I was only using the common labels of the time).

How are you choosing to define yourself?
(Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash)

Instead of putting my energies into dealing with the side effects of treatment, I went down a dark hole.

Language matters! While there’s no doubt that cancer brings on stress and anxiety, terminology can make a difference in your cancer experience and that can either help or hinder you in the process.

So I urge you to consider the words you use to refer to yourself and pay extra attention to how that feels to you. You could be making yourself miserable without even realizing that you have some control over this.