Tag: Imperfection

Just Because It’s Summer: Flowers [PHOTOS]

Earth laughs in flowers.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

As we slog through extremely high temperatures in many parts of the world, I remind myself of how fortunate I am to be living in a relatively temperate area of the United States that somehow manages to evade the weather extremes faced by other parts of the country.

In this post, I’m celebrating the more pleasant parts of summer, namely the beautiful flowers that proliferate during this time of the year. My camera is an aging iPhone with limited features so my point is simply to showcase the abundance of colorful plantlife that is growing within a relatively small area around the complex where I life, rather than produce art-like photos.

Likewise, the flowers may be “lacking”, perhaps with browning edges or dirty petals or anything else that doesn’t look picture-perfect. But they are very real and a good reminder that there is so much that doesn’t look like it comes from the pages of a glossy magazine, and yet is still worthy of a mindful gaze.

There was a time when I could have rattled off the names of all of these, but while some are still familiar, others I cannot recall. So I’m posting them simply to appreciate for their form. I hope you enjoy!

There is a glossy-leafed magnolia tree blooming outside our window with dinner plate-sized flowers. Its petals are so white that they were blinding my camera and my husband and I had to wrestle the flower into an position where its brightness wouldn’t overwhelm the iPhone.
A rose is a rose is a rose…even when it’s a little rough around the edges.
This plant looks very geranium-like to me but I’m not sure whether it actually is one. Anyone know? The flowers remind me of the peticoatted skirts of dancers kicking up their heels. Bug included at no extra cost.
I know what this flower is and I’m going to remember the name right after I submit this post! I love this image for the fluffy stamens and teeny water drops…and the gracefulness of the blossom.
Another flower whose name escapes me. This looks like a circle of red-dressed ladies holding hands and facing outwards.
I love succulents for their beautiful leaf patterns, very fractal-like and interesting, even when dusted in dirt. Echeveria species, I presume.
Another stunning succulent, a bit chewed up but beautiful in my eyes. Again Echeveria, I expect.
A succulent preparing to flower. Tightly packed buds that look ready to bust open.
Last but not least, a hibiscus. This is one of my favorite flowers — I assure you the photo does not do the colors justice. Unfortunately, this year my plant has been beset by various pests but is producing gorgeous flowers nonetheless.

I Am An Imperfect Meditator

I meditate. It is a daily habit that I engage in with the best intentions, but I am a victim of my wandering mind. Some days are better than others, most days I struggle with distractions.

Often, I can be halfway through a sit before I realize that I’ve been clenching my jaw or tensing my brow or gripping some other part of my body, thinking I’ve been relaxed but I’ve been kidding myself.

There are times that I’ve managed to stay with my breath, and then start getting excited that I’ve stayed with it that long, and then start imagining how I might look, staying with my breath…and of course, then I’m no longer meditating.

Yep. Welcome to the noise in my noggin’.

So it goes, day in, day out. Everyday, once or twice a day, or maybe even more. Some days feel like a complete waste, like I’ve got a freeway running through my head and have no idea what I’m doing.

But once in a while, I get a few moments of golden light. They may just flicker in and out, but when I look back at those moments I know everything flowed.

And those mindful sessions make all the other ones worth the effort. Every time I pause before reacting. Each time I recognize my body’s physiological response to a stressor. When I remember that I don’t have to respond with anxious energy. That I get to chose what happens inside my head. That I can just say, “Sh-h-h-h.”

That I can stand back and observe the storm without getting sucked into the whirlwind.

I meditate and often don’t do it well. But I still meditate. As of this posting, 1,380 days in a row, originating with the most frantic breaths shortly after my cancer diagnosis. Even through chemo, when I thought I wouldn’t make it through the night. Sloppy meditation sessions that seemed to be going nowhere.

Change doesn’t require force, it requires consistency.

Those imperfect meditation sessions have changed over time, imperceptable on a daily basis. Perhaps they have worn away a few rough edges the way constant drops of water oh-so-gradually wear away a stone. And just as an indentation forms where the drops hit, so meditation has molded a little basin for me, a bit of extra space in my mind that provides just that much more breathing room.

I am still at the very start of my mindfulness journey, so imperfect and stumbling. But even with the little that I have achieved, I am light-years ahead of who I was before I started, wide-eyed with fear and not knowing how to stop the rush of emotions.

It was terrifying then because I didn’t realize what was happening. Now I know, and that makes all the difference.