Tag: Animosity

^{(Title image: Photo by alpay tonga on Unsplash)}

Some people may experience resistance to this concept.

But as the United States heads into a contentious election, there are a lot of electrified emotions. People are on edge, tempers short and those who think differently from us are viewed with suspicion, disdain or hostility.

It’s very easy to get sucked into that kind of thinking because “us vs. them”messaging abounds and there’s always someone who seeks to profit from continual polarization.

Perhaps someone supports the “other” candidate and we imagine that they are a certain type of person with numeous negative characteristics.

But I offer a different way of looking at them.

Consider someone that you’ve met or read about and formed a negative opinion of based on very little information. All you know is that they disagree with you on topics that you feel strongly about.

Then think about what their motivations are. And instead of allowing yourself to follow down the path of immediate condemnation, consider that they might have motivations very similar to yours. If they seem angry, consider that the anger and hatred you perceive is stoked by fear and concern.

They may fear for what happens to their family. Perhaps they feel that their children are at risk. It’s possible that they believe their livelihood is threatened or that they themselves are in grave danger. They may feel very deeply about the same things that you feel deeply about, but their perspective is different.

What if you try to soften your views of them? That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. But try not to vilify them for how passionately they care about the issues that they do.

Do you find yourself resisting this practice? Perhaps it seems like you don’t want to “give them an inch” because of a plethora of perceived injuries. Or that extending them some grace is somehow morally reprehensible.

But does living with that kind of anger in your heart serve you better? What are the emotions that keep you from wishing someone well: fear, suspicion, anger, pain, obstinance…all these are negative drivers. They will never bring you a sense of peace.

There is a point at which we realize that maintaining polarization takes far more energy than acknowledging that someone thinks differently because they care deeply, even though their solution is different from yours.

Showing respect to people is not the same as agreeing with them. You do not have to vote for their candidate. You don’t have to believe that their way is the only way.

But try to release animosity. Because if there is one right that we should all grant ourselves, it is to live together in an environment where we understand each other, even if we don’t agree.